Power to the Musings!
Hey, remember this concept? It failed last time because we started charging for your texts but not this time! Like I said last week, it should’ve been an Old School Raw. It was one of the best shows last year and everyone seemed to love it. Whatever Trevor, let’s go!
– CM Punk opens the show. He announces that he’s the number one contender to the WWE Title and wants his title shot at Money in the Bank in Chicago. The best part is that he proclaims himself the be the best wrestler in the world. No one should disagree.
– Punk proves he does not give a shit by doing snow angels in the ring and saying “A lot of people around here make bad decisions.” I don’t care how he gets away with it, it’s amazing.
– I’d assume Punk gets his final match at MitB in Chicago and goes out like Jericho did in 2005. Except on a far more epic level as Chicago is one of the hottest towns in the US.
– Our first P2P match is for the Divas title, our contenders are Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, and Beth Phoenix.
– And Kelly wins! TOTAL SHOCK!
– Kelly finally won the Divas title! Her eyes are so fucking weird looking…
– This is the second night in a row where Lawler interviewed a new Champion after a match. I dislike this immensely because unlike the UFC where they do this, this is not legitimate competition. Plus, ya know, Lawler blows.
– Up next is Evan Bourne vs Jack Swagger, Mason Ryan, or Sin Cara. Gee, I wonder…
– Wow, they DIDN’T give us Sin Cara. Mason gets the nod which is quite surprising.
– We all knew it was fixed, just like Cyber Sunday, but this is ridiculous. 51% of the vote for Ryan? At least make it close, guys.
– Standard big man vs little man match. Ryan with the win. I don’t care how much Sin Cara botches, the people love him and it would’ve been great.
– They announce Raw Roulette for next week. Three gimmick Raws in a row? Ratings aren’t THAT bad, are they?
– Mark Henry vs Kane in an Arm Wrestling match, Body Slam, or Over the Top Rope. What awful choices.
– They should call Sylvester Stallone to officiate this Arm Wrestling Match.
– “This is stupid” chant from the crowd. Ugh.
– Henry got DQ’d or something.
– I assumed on Twitter that they’re saving the good stuff for 9 o clock. Turns out I was right because R-Truth is getting some microphone time.
– Truth talks about gettin got by Lil Jimmy. Talks about conspiracies a such until Christian comes out. They exchange some pretty good banter. Then it’s Miz time.
– I think Miz’s face turn begins tonight.
– The three engage in a Verbal Mexican Standoff which is better than anyone could’ve guessed.
– Teddy Long comes out and makes a 6 man tag for the main event, with the three in the ring fighting their opponents from last night. Who gave him the authority to do this?!
– Kofi vs Ziggler for the US Title. 2 of 3 Falls, Vickie Banned from Ringside, or a submission match. Thus far every winner was been option B. But not this time! 2 outta 3 falls!
– Glad to see Ziggler showing emotion and a personality again!
– The first fall took place during the commercial. That’s just terrible and it buries Ziggler a bit. Especially considering how Kofi got his on TV.
– Wasn’t as good as last night’s match, but still pretty damn good. Kofi won via DQ.
– The 3 way between Punk, Del Rio, and Rey is voted as a falls count anywhere match. I cant wait for the MONSTER push Punk is about to get.
– I remember a time when the Tower of Doom (a 10 punch in the corner/suplex/powerbomb combo) was a huge deal. These three do it and it gets one pop then nothing.
– Considering the caliber of everyone involved, this match just didn’t do it for me. But hey, Punk wins!
– Punk finally announces he’s leaving at MitB. 😦 I guess that’s one way to even out the face/heel ratio on Raw.
– Cody Rhodes vs Daniel Bryan in a no countout match. Better than a Paper Bag or Collegiate Wrestling match, I guess.
– The paper bags on the fans heads is one of the best things I’ve seen in years.
– Bryan with a quick roll up for the win, then DiBiase comes out to beat some ass. I guess Legacy is all but back together?
– The Raw crowd didn’t really react to well for Cody. Proves that Raw and Smackdown have totally different audiences.
– A dance off between Cole and Vickie! HILARIOUS ANTICS!
– Six Man tag match. The stipulations are one fall to a finish, 20 minute time limit, and elimination.
– Cannot lie, I’ve been mentally out of this Raw for quite some time. Really hate sitting here for three hours two weeks in a row. And they’ve been shitty to boot.
– Cena gets the final submission on Christian. Thank the Lord this one’s over.