CM Punk is Raw
– WWE.com announced around 8PM that CM Punk was going to open up Raw with a live microphone. Great idea on their part, as it brings in instant ratings.
– The signature starts off the show as usual UNTIL Punk’s music hits, cutting off the signature. How FUCKING genius!
– He gives us a recap of the last two weeks, and starts to shoot again. It wasn’t as vicious as two weeks ago (but nothing will ever be), yet he still manages to throw some heavy barbs out. I thought he was going to say Benoit when mentioning WWE’s presence in the real world.
– Cena out, and unfortunately his lines are being scripted. Shame, because his retort with Vince was really good last week.
– Nice touch on Punk bringing up how Cena was fired for a week last year.
– OMG CENA SAID KURT ANGLE!
– Punk also suggested the first ever Live Contract Negotiation with Vince later on. I haven’t been this excited for a regular Raw in a very long time.
– First match is handicap: Otunga/McGilicutty vs Cena. My money is on Zack Ryder helping out his Broski
– Michael Cole REALLY putting over the importance of the WWE Championship. I like that.
– I don’t like how it comes at the expense of calling the action.
– Never mind on that Ryder helping Cena thing. You know, it only made sense so why do it?
– Cena wins, btw.
– Ziggler and Vickie with some good Vince impersonations.
– DREW MCINTYRE CAMEO?!
– Kelly vs Melina with the Bellas on commentary.
– How the hell are the Bellas admonishing Kelly for being too skinny? Kelly is about 4 lbs lighters than all the other Divas. The Bellas are just as small!
– Except for LayCool, no Diva should be allowed microphone time. They’re inferior in every way.
– Obligatory MitB participant promo with 100 ladders!
– Truth is afraid of heights AND SPIDERS! So there better not be no spiders on those ladders!
– Riley ruins everything by not having a microphone.
– Lots of botches tonight on the mic. Del Rio, Bellas, Cole, Kofi.
– Obligatory MitB tag match up next!
– This match right here, Truth/Miz/Swagger vs Bourne/Riley/Kofi is the epitome of the future of this company.
– Pretty good match, I must say. Everyone played their role perfectly with the faces getting the win, then Del Rio cleans house.
– Where the hell is Mystertio?
– With the amount of guys who’ve never been in a ladder match in the ladder match, I’m quite nervous for all the potential botching.
– Up next is the destruction of Ziggler/McIntyre via the Big Show.
– Pretty boring match. Show ends up beating McIntyre all over the ring and stage and gets counted out, I think.
– Show goes to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage until Mark Henry rushes him like a freight train, knocking all three off the stage. McIntyre lands somewhere where no one can see him, while the big boys land on a padded table. Pretty cool spot, I like the kamikaze aspect.
– Vince comes out and points to a Zack Ryder sign and chats with Mr Cena for a moment.
– Normally I hate when they finish Raw with a promo. But not tonight.
– This is terrible, I cannot believe Punk is going to leave. At this point, he is the new age Stone Cold. He is everything the male demographic wants and is the shot in the arm the WWE needs right now. This is the hottest angle in years and it’s only 3 weeks old.
– Punk is so passionate, it’s ridiculous. Nice try attempting to get heel heat comparing Cena to the Yankees; it didn’t work because Punk is that Goddamn good.
Please, Punk, don’t leave us.