New Lawler Facts!

It’s come to my attention that dispute carrying the name of “BooLawler,” we rarely actually boo Lawler. So expect more of that in the coming days/weeks/etc… Hows about some more facts about the man we loathe of so much?

– Stevie Wonder found Waldo before Jerry Lawler could.

– Jerry Lawler has zero matches on eHarmony.

– Even when doing piss-poor commentary, Jerry Lawler still wears knee pads. When asked if he was wrestling that night, he replied, “Sure.”

– As a teen, Jerry Lawler impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later, the nuns gave birth to the 1976 Buccaneers, the worst team in NFL history, finishing their season 0-14 and losing by an average of 20 points per game.

– Jerry Lawler once got an erection, and the city of San Fransico rejoyced.

– Jerry Lawler owns a cabin on Brokeback Mountain.

– I shook Jerry Lawler’s hand once; it was like holding five wet noodles.

– Jerry Lawler’s mother was in labor for three more days following his birth: one for his ego, one for his intelligence, and one for his talent. The latter two were stillborns from lack of oxygen. Only Lawler’s ego survived.

– Michael J Fox has better handwriting than Jerry Lawler.

– When asked if it was okay to be refered to as “Jerry Stupid Lawler,” Lawler just sat there and stared at Santino; his mouth hanging open with drool pouring from his face.

As always, you can find all of these facts (and more!) up on top. Expect more as the weeks go by!

Advertisements

Posted on July 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: