Wait, this isn’t Monday Night Football…
But that’s ok, because I hate Eli Manning. Night of Champions was pretty good last night, despite what Twitter wants you to think. Soooooooooooo let’s go!
– Punk out first, and he’s pretty messed up. Triple H is out next, and is also beat up. I hate how Triple H holds the mic.
– John Laurinaitis out next, and I really like him as an on screen character. They’re defiantly using that graveled voiced monster to their advantage, as everyone who reads the sheets naturally hates him.
– Btw, H makes Cena/Punk/Del Rio for Hell in a Cell, which is in 2 weeks. That’s right, 2.
– Opening match is Barrett/McGillicutty/Otunga/Christian vs Gabriel/Sheamus/AirBoom. Half of this match is Nexus.
– McGillicutty doesn’t look like shit tonight!
– Quickly degenerates in a pier six brawl with lots of nice high spots.
– Pretty sure JR said WWF.
– Sheamus gets the big rub by dominating after the hot tag. It still shocks me how over he is.
– Del Rio beats, no, SQUASHES Morrison inside of a minute. Wow.
– Hugh Jackman comes out to plug his rock em sock em movie. Then Dolph Ziggler once again goes all awesome. Wolverine makes a match between Dolph and “an underdog.” Crowd chants for ryder and Wolverine basically makes the match without making it.
– Triple H fines Miz and Truth $250,000 for hitting the ref last night. Roger Goodell doesn’t even hand out fines that big!
– So Sin Cara vs Cody is about to happen until Sin Cara 2 comes out. They do some flips and shitty head scissors and make for some awkward TV.
– Awesome Mark Henry promo. I’m very excited for him as World Champion. With any luck they won’t screw him like they did Del Rio with a 35 day reign. I want a nice healthy reign, I’m sick of these monthly title changes.
– Henry gives JR the chance to apologize and he does. But Mark hates ass kissers and chokes JR till Lawler saves them. But “If you stop this, you take his place.” Mark FUCKING DESTROYS LAWLER. I love it. He said last night he’s never losing, EVER, and I hope that’s true.
– Kelly/Eve vs Divas of Doom = Battle of the Massive Jaws. They’re huge!
– Wow, the DoD lose again. Wtf?
– Ryder v Ziggler is now. Crowd is super hot for the Zack Attack. Love his tights, they remind me of the background for school pictures back in the day.
– Pretty good in the early goings, they’ve got some good chemistry.
– Jackman’s punch would’ve been epic if he had Wolverine claws.
– Big win for Ryder, but they still seem gun shy on him.
– John Cena ONCE AGAIN is the most forgiving man in WWE history, teaming with nearly every man who’s ever made his life a living hell.
– Ah, time for some Awesome Truth!
– Miz just can’t hit the “You Suck” on the mark like, ever.
– They keep pushing the triple threat Hell in a Cell, but that’s got clusterfuck written all over it.
– Really good match with Punk winning. H comes out and fires both Miz and Truth. They attack H backstage until EVERY Raw star beats them up and throws them out. Even the heels. Odd ending.