More Lawler Facts!

In “honor” of Jerry Lawler coming back to Waterbury for a show this Friday night, here are some more facts to feast on!

Jerry Lawler never learned to swim because his family’s gene pool was too small.

Jerry Lawler’ brain cells cure cancer… too bad he’s brain dead.

Jerry Lawler turned down an offer to make a cameo in the movie “Dodgeball” on the grounds that he doesn’t like to dodge balls—he prefers to have them resting on his chin.

Jerry Lawler says “I am… I mean, you are what you eat, dick.”

Jerry Lawler has been confused with Santa Clause, because whenever he enters a little boy’s room he leaves with an empty sack.

Jerry Lawler once visited the Virgin Islands. During his stay he was arrested while attempting to have sexual intercourse with an island.

Under no circumstances do you EVER interupt Jerry Lawler during Grey’s Anatomny

Jerry Lawler’ semen cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS.

Jerry Lawler tried to count backwards from infinity.

In fine print on the last page of the Farmers’ Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Jerry Lawler, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.

At the suggestion of Katy Perry, Jerry Lawler kissed a girl…and hated it.

Jerry Lawler’s favorite type of fish is Trouser Trout.

Jerry Lawler’s favorite color is magenta, with a hint of caribbean green.

Jerry Lawler has two speeds: walk, and prance around like a homo.

Jerry Lawler once hid his cornflakes in a safe because he heard a serial killer was on the loose.

Jerry Lawler once ALMOST finished an entire double-mocha frappuccino latte at Starbucks, but stopped when he started to feel “woozy.”


Posted on September 26, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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