WTF, MOAR Lawler facts!

Jerry Lawler was once struck by a van, and miraculously revived at the hospital. His family sued the hospital.

Jerry Lawler once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and merely blinked because the gay porn he was watching was too exciting to sleep through.

Jerry Lawler once played hide and seek with Helen Keller, but she found him within one minute. He’s THAT bad.

Jerry Lawler lost a foot race to Zach Gowen.

Jerry Lawler lost an arm wrestling match to Droz.

Jerry Lawler once fucked his sister, because if anyone is going to fuck his sister, it’s going to be him.

Jerry Lawler likes to get a good night’s sleep…with as many men as possible.

Jerry Lawler still updates his MySpace page.

Jerry Lawler once roundhouse kicked a midget and it burst into 25 gold coins. Jerry Lawler was pissed off because you can’t have sex with 25 gold coins.

Jerry Lawler really DOES know the meaning of “Just Say No,” because he just says no all the time…to women.

Jerry Lawler has modeled his career after Cleveland sports, hence all the underachieving.

Jerry Lawler once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one, because no one wanted to hear him cry about it again.

One time, bet on Duke to win the National Championship. IN FOOTBALL.

Jerry Lawler stayed in high school for 7 years until someone finally signed his yearbook.

Jerry Lawler always buys the Double Gulp at 7-11 even though he knows he can’t finish it.

Jerry Lawler’ DNA is made up of four leaf clovers, unicorns, and smiles.

Jerry Lawler sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.

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Posted on September 27, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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