We are liiiiiiiiiiiiive in Anaheim California for another scintillating edition of Monday Night Raw! With the exception of that waste of space Perez Hilton this should be a good Raw. Let’s go!
– Mick Foley starts us off first! The pop he gets is far better than the ones he go last year during those awful This is Your Life and smackdown Christmas segments.
– I’ve always liked Foley; met him twice and is really the nicest guy.
– Here comes Ziggler! Who proceeds to absolutely dress down Foley in the best way possible.
– This is the promo Ziggler needed: the question about him always was if he could draw his own heat without Vickie, and boy, did he ever. The crowd was so angry and he was just so mean.
– CM Punk coming out literally did nothing for the segment.
– Big Johnny tells Mick he’ll think about letting him into the Rumble…he said no.
– Very strong opener.
– the NEW Tag Team Champions Primo and Epico defend against Air Boom.
– I thought they were going to break up Air Boom, but that new t-shirt tells me otherwise.
– Pretty standard fare between these 4, I’d assume all the same spots they did last night.
– Cool to see the Tag belts change on a house show, though they should’ve promoted it as something HUGE instead of just a recap.
– How Rosa is allowed to be on television with those “clothes” on, I’ll never know. Nor will I ever complain.
– Jericho turning off the lights in Johnny Ace’s office just so he could light his jacket up was OUTSTANDING.
– Oh, boo hoo, Zach Ryder has an ouchy in his ribs. He is an absolutely horrible actor. And people said Cena was robotic.
– Instead of yelling at Ryder to hurry up and change the tire, she could’ve helped.
– Finally, now after 3 years the two time two time All-American AMERICAN Jack Swagger can become the US Champion. It was a match made in heaven.
– Swagger is just straight up beating the shit out of Ryder. Using huge power moves like a big man like him should.
– YES! YES! DESTINY FULFILLED!
– The Zack Ryder experiment is over.
– Why is Lawler all over Swagger for wrestling? Ryder didn’t have to kickout.
– Perez Hilton makes his way to the ring, and I promptly change the channel. Hopefully you all did too.
– Mr Belding is at Raw! And he’s so fat.
– Someone needs to teach Wade Barrett how to wear a coat.
– Barret’s trunks are shit brown and leathery, how odd.
– R-Truth at his finest. He is on top of his game tonight, and it’s TREMENDOUS.
– I need screencaps on Truth at Disney now.
– LOBSTER HEAD~!
– Teddy Long doesn’t make a tag match, some how. Instead Truth, Barrett, Sheamus, and Miz in an over the top rope challenge. Probably Teddy’s 3rd favorite match type.
– Barrett gets eliminated first, which I do not foresee happening at the Rumble.
– Truth with the win! which again I do not foresee happening at the Rumble.
– Oh God Cena, get off Ryder’s nuts. He’s not as good a friend to you as you are to him. It’s a one way friendship.
– Swagger pulling double duty like Dolph Ziggler fighting Cena. And damn, Cena, you mad.
– “YOU HURT MY BFF HOW DARE YOU I’M MAD NOW GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” – John Cena, 1/16/12
– Poor Swagger, the first win in about forever then crushed 45 minutes later.
– John Cena was going to murder Swagger on live TV. How rude!
– Kane with the save! Kane’s Embrace the Hate campaign sure seems to be working.
– His own funky ring announcers? Brodus Clay has arrived!
– I remember when JTG was something good.
– The in match commentary from Brodus is awesome, and I’m thankful for it.
– Best gimmick I’ve seen in years. Long live the Funkasaurus.
– AJ took that bump on Friday like a Champ. D Bryan berating Show afterwards was such a dick move. Heel Bryan is going to be great.
– I was really hoping AJ would be wheelchair bound, and Bryan would wheel her around like Vince did to Linda so many years ago.
– Bryan can say what he wants, but Big Show is the most prolific crier in WWE history.
– I like how he’s defending the World Championship on EVERY episode of Smackdown, it brings a bit of prestige.
– Traditionally Jericho’s first match back is terrible, he said so himself in his books. I don’t think it’s possible for this match to be bad.
– Outstanding: Jericho hotdogs around the ring for the entire commercial break and everyone else makes their way to ring, and Jericho’s music is STILL playing and he’s STILL high fiving fans.
– Apparently no one wants to tag in Jericho and Henry. I hope when Y2J does come in he just leaves then Bryan leaves and fucks Punk over.
– I wonder if we’ll ever find out if Otunga is a good wrestler.
– Jericho is a fucking maniac and IT’S SO DAMN GOOD. He tags in, celebrates, tags out and leaves.
– Henry takes care of Bryan, which makes it Punk v Otunga/Ziggler. UNTIL Foley inserts himself into the match! Man, Mick looks like a lesbian…
– Please, Mick, stop wrestling. For all our benefits. Get your GM spot back and stay out of the ring.
– Mandible Claw to Otunga and that’s it, but Big Johnny overturns it via DQ.
– Punk’s promos against Johnny Ace are always so angry, I always feel he’s going to slip up and say shit or fuck.
– Wow, Punk just murdering Ace on the mic. Just, wow.
– Angry Johnny Ace is an entertaining Johnny Ace. It’s got to be in Mick’s contract where he always ends up beat up at the end of the show.
Sign of the Night: Free RVD.