Evan Bourne is Dumb/High/Fired


(Note: I wrote the first half of this last week but never finished it. With new news coming out, it’s time to
Ok, look, if you get suspended from your job for a failed drug test, you probably will stop doing said drugs, right? In most cases the answer is, or at least should be yes. But if you’re Evan Bourne, you do the only logical thing that comes naturally to you: keep getting high.

The first offense to failing a drug test could be constituted as a mistake, a lapse in judgement or some other type of excuse. But a second failed test? C’mon man. Bourne failed his first test (or it was just reported on) November 1st. 30 days he was off TV and house shows. He comes back for literally 40 days then gets busted again, for what we can only assume was for the same damn thing. How stupid can he be?

I almost think he did this intentionally, to get himself fired. Is it really that hard to just stop using fake pot? Maybe Bourne and Brian Kendrick can form a tag team on the indies, since they have so much in common.

Former WWE tag team champion Evan Bourne is currently serving a 60-day suspension for his second violation of the company’s Wellness Policy. While Bourne would be cleared to return to action in March, a report on PWinsider.com suggests that Bourne could be done with the company for good. No official decision has been made yet, but “a number of WWE sources” have indicated that Bourne will not be brought back.

Bourne’s first violation of the Wellness Policy was reportedly a result of him using synthetic marijuana (“spice”), which is a banned substance in WWE. Bourne’s latest violation is said to be a result of something “completely unrelated” to his first situation.

“Completely unrelated?” Yeah, I’m sure. If he wanted to stay home he should’ve done it the diplomatic way: let your contract run out or ask for your release. Kendrick did it, MVP did it, Morrison did it, and turns out they aren’t on bad terms with the WWE, leaving the door open for a return! Genius!

I’m sure he’ll be happier when he’s gone (cause he’ll be high as a kite) but I find it disrespectful to throw the opportunity he has away for fucking weed. There’s 10,000 other men and women who would KILL to be in his position, to be a WWE Superstar, but he’d rather smoke it all away. I don’t care how awesome your shooting star press is, fuck you, Evan Bourne.

Worst of all: he screwed over Kofi. Really classy, Evan.


Posted on January 24, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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