Raw Reviewings!

Now THAT'S a Christmas card

– That WHORE Eve is being such a whore! What a mean bitch! Is Eve the new version of Lita? I hope so, because Lita dressed like a slut.
– Now, why would you tell those gossip queens the Bells about your master plan WHEN THERE’S A CAMERA IN YOUR FACE.
– Bussssssssssted. Damn. Cena put an end to her villainous plan real quick.

PYYYYYYYYYYRO

– Can’t tell if they’re booing Cena or Eve.
– I hope Eve’s acting vastly improves now that she’s a dirty skank.
– Cena better start staying mean like this; never thought I’d hear scandalous bitch in reference to the Rock.
– And an STD joke? #CeNation4Life

Sheamus v Henry
– It was very nice of John Laurinaitis to let Mark Henry compete on Raw. That damn Teddy Long is too biased!
– If Henry can wrestle tonight, why couldn’t they put him in the Chamber last night? Santino came off really well and I enjoyed him in the match, but it wouldn’t have been so obvious.
– I can’t remember the last time Sheamus has lost a match.
– Can’t help but notice Daniel Bryan wasn’t involved in this segment at all. I’m sure they’re saving it for tomorrow’s live Smackdown, but they need to get in gear for this feud. I don’t want it to end up like these two have a match at Mania and ramp up the feud 2 weeks before.

– A Wrestlemania Street Fight between Laurinaitis and Teddy Long for GM Supremacy would be epic.
– This segment set the record for most uses of the word playa in WWE history.
– The battle royal to fight Punk at Mania should just be called “everyone who lost in the Chamber last night” match.

Truth/Kofi v Epico/Primo
– Kofi in another random pairing tag team? I…don’t hate it.
– The parallels with Kofi/Truth to Air Boom are crazy. Random hihg flyers put together, the one not named Kofi likes to get high…
– The Colons needs an official team name and better music. That generic Spanish music just isn’t doing it.
– Jamaican Me Crazy would be a wholly appropriate name for Kofi/Truth.
– Rosa Mendes needs to be more involved in these matches.

– Hard to believe Ron Simmons’ entire career will be summoned up with one word. But DAMN (pun intended) the APA was awesome.

– It’s been about 24 hours but Josh Matthews finally got his Chris Jericho interview!

Zeke v Otunga
– The just announced David Otunga as hailing from Harvard Law School. HOW AWESOME?!
– Otunga looked good as hell! Zeke straight up jobbed.
– Ideally this leads to Teddy Long bringing out a different Smackdown star every week and Otunga just going over. He’s not that bad of a wrestler and just needs that little extra push.

– Taker is going to look like a giant tattooed penis if he’s bald under that hood.
– He’s walking around the ring while talking with a lot of swagger. Not very Taker like.
– Who the fuck “Whats” the Undertaker? Fuck you Steve Austin.
– Triple H and Taker need to stop with this “no one else is like us anymore” shit. You bury the roster more and more every time you say it.
– Thoroughly enjoying Taker combining the American Bad Ass mic skills with Deadman appearance. What a great medium he should’ve used years ago.
– Taker with the dagger, saying Michaels was always better than HHH which is why HHH won’t fight. Nice.
– How do you put a Hell in a Cell in an open roof stadium?! And what’s the point of the Hell in a Cell PPV if you’re going to use the match during the year?

Santino v D.Bryan
– I’m so shocked Daniel Bryan was given such a strong push as Champion. I figured he’d be one PPV and done but he’s gotten so over.
– Is this the start of a Santino push to the semi-main event? Unlikely, because he just got squashed.

Aksana/Kelly v Bellas
– Lolwut
– I hope this is just a parlay for Kharma to smash 4 divas. Which ironically is also my goal in life.
– Match was too short for a fap 😦

– Cena ragging on his own movie is great.
– I was a part of one of the first crowds that boo’d Cena in 2005. I’ve boo’d him ever since, I HATED him and everything he stood for. But now, in the last year especially, I respect the hell out of him. Everything he’s saying is 100% true, I just wish more people could see that.
– Angry Cena is Awesome Cena.
– See what happens when you don’t give Cena a script with stupid jokes?
– I’m seriously debating whether Cena’s or Taker’s/H’s promo was better.

– So there’s 10 men in this battle royal, I wonder how many will end up in Money in the Bank? At least 6.
– I hate that Ziggler’s shirt looks like a Nike shirt, and hate was it says, but I like that it’s pink.
– Punk with some CroCop love!
– Don’t worry Khali, one day you’ll return to championship greatness.
– How hard would the crowd pop if all the heels were eliminated at once?
– With “all the heat on Miz lately” I’m surprised he hasn’t been buried AT ALL.
– Miz, Truth, Truth, and Ziggler all eliminating in spectacular fashion.
– Oh God, PLEASE don’t let Ziggler be legit hurt. Barrett too.
– What was the point of jobbing Santino out to D.Bryan if you were going to make him look so strong in the battle royal?
– Cody Rhodes helping to eliminate Big Show after being eliminated himself? A feud? What about Shaq? I NEED TO KNOW!
– Jericho v Punk at Mania, which was confirmed weeks ago when they made it blatantly obvious.

Very good Raw tonight. I was nervous at first because they usually drop the ball after a PPV, but all around good show. Hope all those injured in the battle royal are ok. Live Smackdown tomorrow!

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Posted on February 20, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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