Raw! Boston! Now!
– Shawn Michaels is out to hype up Taker/Triple H. Taker has already used up most of his work days for the year and needs to conserve the rest.
– Michaels just runs down Triple H for what seems like forever, and hasn’t eaten a Pedigree yet. I’m shocked.
– Boston is stupid for chanting triple threat.
– Funny how 4 years ago Ric Flair was the greatest of all time, and now it’s Michaels. Not complaining (because Michaels is the undisputed GOAT) though.
– Summary of this promo: “You’re a loser.” “No, you’re a loser.” “Taker beat us both twice at Mania already.” “You’re a loser.”
– HBK special ref at Mania? Eh, ok.
– Oh Man, Teddy Long is in charge tonight, and the main event is a TAG MATCH?! Who knew?!
US Title: Swaggs v Santino
– Swagger has his hair combed, and I like it. It’s neatly parted.
– Sloppy ass Swagger Bomb and SANTINO KICKED OUT?!
– Teddy Long comes out in a dashing red suit.
– There is pure PANDEMONIUM AT RINGSIDE! Maxine on Vickie, Kofi on Dolph, GM on GM!
– SANTINO WON THE TITLE!
– Holy shit Boston is going crazy.
– I wonder if Santino will change the title to the Italian Championship.
– They boo’d the Rock!
– Good to see the Rock is back to his old childish insults.
Eve v Alicia Fox
– ASIAN REF?1
– Not a terrible match for 45 seconds.
– Was that a four count?
– Zack Ryder’s back!
– Not sure if Ryder has a limp or just mad swag.
– Quick! Go to Kmart to buy this Wrestlemania chair! $75 plus $30!
– John Cena with a thoughtful promo in the empty arena.
– Bringing up how the Patriots when 18-1 probably won’t get you cheered in Boston, bro.
– Are the writing it so Rock is awesome one week then Cena the next, but never awesome at the same time?
Punk/Sheamus v Jericho/D.Bryan
– If Sheamus was replaced by Ziggler, the internet would be orgasm beyond belief.
– I much dislike Michael Cole reading fans’ Tweets.
– Sheamus took two hard bumps outside the ring, probably not the best time frame to be doing this.
– Jesus Christ, so much for the main eventers taking it easy before the biggest Goddamn show of the year.
– God, Punk’s elbow is awful.
– Very good match, should’ve been the main event.
Show v Miz
– Seriously, the Big Show embarrassing moments has been a highlight for the last 2 weeks.
– Miz really likes his vegetables, specifically SQUASH.
Kane v Truth
– So on Smackdown Kane came out during Orton/Bryan. Maybe Kane wanted Bryan for a World Title match, but Orton cut him off with punches. He potentially just caused himself a lot of pain at Mania.
– And it’s time for the main event! A half hour of talking!
– Boston still hates Cena.
– Please, John Cena, never change from this.
– Rock is noticeably different tonight. He’s trying so hard to win this promo, but, again. He didn’t.
– CeNation all day. He drank a beer!
– Rock Concert and Cena Battle Rap next week!