Another Raw Review~!
– John Laurinaitis has some awesomely Patriotic music. People Power!
– Fuck. This crowd SUCKS compared to Miami. But who cares, because HERE COMES THE PAIN!
– The only problem with pimping Brock’s UFC stuff is he go his ass killed his final two fights.
– Oh God, Brock isn’t playing a murder, his promo is cocky. NO ME GUSTA.
– An entire roster pull apart brawl between Cena/Lesnar? If they really wanted to keep them apart, all you need is A-Train, Mark Henry, Ryback, and Brodus.
– Scumbag WWE: “No Blood!” Shows Cena with legit blood.
– I fully expect a Lion’s Den match at Extreme Rules.
– So Brock legit punches Cena in the mouth, and remember real quick that he’s not in MMA anymore.
– Johnny has his Wrestlemania suit hanging in his office! Class.
– Funky’s on a Roll!
– Brodus/Santino vs American Perfection. This match will have the best of all worlds.
– I love Swagger’s shiny singlet.
– I’ll say it again: Swagger is just a personality away from being huge.
– Brodus getting the hot tag is the perfect time to say “Funky’s on a roll!!!”
– Ziggler got pinned? Ziggler….pinned…in a tag match…with Swagger? I’ve lost all faith.
– Big Show interrupts a Cody Rhodes match with a black guy, showing a recap of embarassing him, the EXACT same thing he did last week. Inception? BWOOOOOOMP.
– My friend Mike correctly guessed that Yoshi Tatsu would be squashed by Tensai tonight.
– I wonder if Lord Tensai remembers that time Lesnar dropped A-Train on his head with an F5.
– Poor Yoshi, home boy did’t get in ANY offense. Even Alex Riley got in a punch or two.
– I was hoping the Blast From the Past Smackdown tomorrow would feature the OvalTron or the giant fist stages. Looks like it’s just going to be an episode of Nitro from 2000.
– So if CM Punk just walks to the ring without stopped, does that mean it’s not clobberin time?
– Has Punk ever had a WWE/World Title reign on Raw where he was the focus of the show?
– I need to know where Jericho gets his coats made.
– Which does Punk hate more: flat Pepsi or booze?
– For the first time ever I am not impressed with a CM Punk promo. Hmph.
– So I guess Punk has to literally kill Mark Henry right now, right?
– Jericho pouring a case of beer on Punk. Legit? I’ve never seen that type of beer before, could be non-alcoholic?
– Zack Ryder taps out like a bitch. I’m no longer a fan of that guy.
– Del Rio whipping his nose with Ryder’s armband? Awesome.
– So I really didn’t want to discuss the 3 Stooges, but then Will Sasso came out and did a great job impersonating Hulk Hogan. Michael Cole: “Hogan lost some weight.” Perfect.
– Will Sasso will take a chokeslam, he don’t give a fuck.
– Brock Lesnar needs start practicing his promos again. Dude is baaaaaaaaaaaad.
– This show has been too video package heavy.
– David Otunga is SO oiled.
– There are like 30 Wounder Warriors in the crowd tonight. “Oh you’re wounded? Here, have shitty seats in the upper deck.”
– This is the first time the crowd has truly become alive. Say what you will, but Cena ALWAYS gets a reaction.
– Wow, there were no Divas on Raw tonight. First time ever?
– Otunga doing his best Chris Masters pose. The Blacksterpiece?
– I can tell Lesnar is not taking this seriously, and I kind of like it.
Really bad Raw. Hopefully Smackdown will be better. Gnite!