Look, I’m not looking forward to watching Raw tonight. It’s just been bad the last two weeks. At least I know Detroit will do work. Let’s do it.
– That is one fancy ass table.
– Theodore Long with the botch of the night, “He is a 2 time WWE Champion…and 10 time WWE Champion. John Cena!”
– Big Johnny says this might be Cena’s last night on Raw?
– EDGE! WAT! EDGE! ON THIS DAY! I SEE CLEARLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
– I now very much enjoy your haircut, Edge.
– Hell yeah Edge, awesome pep talk to Cena. He should be a motivational speaker for any guy who needs a pick me up. Reminds me of Foley to Edge in 06, and Flair to Carlito, whenever that was.
– Also, I’m glad someone finally pointed out Brock is here for money just like the Rock.
– First Edge, now Jericho. How many more Canadians can we get on TV?!
– Jericho vs Kofi has never been a bad match. I wonder how much longer Kofi won’t be a main eventer.
– Awesome top rope splash into Codebreaker.
– The ONLY time Jericho does the Liontamer is on Kofi, I’m convinced.
– Big Johnny is totally gonna give some “People Power” to Eve, if you catch my drift. SEX.
– Jericho bought Punk a very nice liquor gift basket. Looks expensive. He gave the basket to Josh Matthews! How nice!
– Question: who will lost clean first: Tensai or Brodus? Or Ryback?
– It took 51 minutes for the first YES! chant to break out.
Albert A-Train the Hip Hop Hippo Giant Bernard really hasn’t improved THAT much. I don’t know what the big deal is.
– I guess the green mist is poison, right?
– It’s like Sunday Night Heat from 1999: Albert vs K-Kwik
– Kane with a nice little promo on Orton. Then Orton makes it a true family affair and has Paul Bearer all tied up! He throws him in the freezer. But Kane don’t give no fucks. Edge rolled Bearer down a flight of stairs.
– Look, let’s just make it official: The Ortons vs Kane/Bearer at Extreme Rules.
– Why is Alex Riley on my TV?!
– A-Ry doing the old Just Joe gimmick
– The irony of Riley snitching on someone for drinking is not lost on me.
– Godammit if they win, Show and Khali are default #1 Contender’s….
– If Cody was still dashing, he and Del Rio would be made for each other.
– I just cannot get into a Del Rio match, any Del Rio match. It’s like after he lost to Edge it was all over for me. His matches with Punk? They were good but I was just uninterested.
– Wtf? Live Pre Show Sunday on YouTube, Santino vs Miz for the US Title? Wtf is that?
– A…Divas match on Raw? It’s been so long. But really, not long enough.
– Lumberjills. Yay?
– Mmmm Kaitlyn on my TV
– Jesus Christ. Not only are these broads terrible at wrestling, but they can’t even get coordinated enough to bang on the match in rhythm.
– Aaaaaaaaaaaand Beth Phoenix broken ankle. 3 months, gone.
– The Divas title matches Bella’s ring gear.
– He really IS CM Drunk! And a terrible actor at that.
– Have we ever had a field sobriety test on Raw? Nearly 20 years and I think this is the first.
– He said a bad word! He said WWF!!!
– CM Drunk has finally perfected his Jeff Hardy impression.
– No breathalyzer? No flashlight in the eyes? This wasn’t a real sobriety test!
– So according to Eve, no WWE superstar can drink within 12 hours of a WWE event…I assume Steve Austin has been banished from WWE history.
– Second Brock highlight of the night, when he killed Hogan on Smackdown. I still have this match on VHS. Mad they didn’t show him wiping Hogan’s blood across his own chest. Bad. Ass.
– YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
– I’m fully convinced they want the Yes chants dead, but they just don’t know how to do it. Cause they’re dumb.
– By the way: this match is Sheamus vs Mark henry, with D.Bry as the ref.
– Mark Henry stays beating the top two Champions, as long as it’s not for the actual title, and as long as it’s not in the main event.
– HOLY FUCK THE DORITO LOs TACO IS SPONSORING INDIVIDUAL MATCHES NOW? I MUST HAVE ONE.
– Hmmm, the Colons vs Ryder and Santino? Maybe.
– I remember one time when Ryder and Rose Mendes were an item.
– Just noticed Santino has his own five moves of doom.
-Abraham Washington is going to make a stable of EVERY single mid-carder in the WWE, thus creating a conflict of interest amongst all of this clients.
– Naomi and Cameron have so much ass.
– I can’t believe Taco Bell is sponsoring this match.
– Sigh…American Perfection should be ruling Raw.
– Brock highlight #3: I’m sure it’s no coincidence that he’s beating all TNA guys in these clips
– This is the FIFTH time this video has been shown on 3 shows. STOP.
– That table is far to pretty to get destroyed.
– Wow, Bork Laser is fucking terrible. I was blinded by it a decade ago, but…fuck. Awful.
– So remember when the Rock was intentionally bad so Cena would get cheered a bit? This horrible Brock promo is the same thing, right? Because there is no way he is this fucking bad. It’s God awful. I’ve seen better backyard wrestling promos. Just…ow.
– Cena saves us! And he’s wearing a padlock! The very same he wore 9 years ago when these two fought at Backlash!
– After Bork’s promo, how can anyone chant Cena Sucks?
– Now that Alistar Overeem cant fight MMA for a while, any chance we get Overeem/Lesnar at SummerSlam?
– Oh my fucking Christ, worst ending to Raw in a long time.