Hard to believe it’s been ten years since Allen Iverson gave his infamous “practice” speech. What? This is about wrestling? Oh, good thing Raw is on. S’go!
– Big Johnny laying the verbal smackdown on Cena. Call me crazy but I am excited for their match at Over the Limit.
– Cena’s not in the arena live tonight? Hm, I’m sure.
– Wait, were the ropes always white? Or did they just change them for tonight? Either way, I like it.
– CM Punk takes a break from berating folks on Twitter to join us! Pipe bomb?
– Punk does his thing, runs down Johnny, and gets booked vs Tensai later on.
– The IC Title is looking awfully shiny tonight.
– Lawler is a fucking idiot, “What are the rules of a tables match?” Cole: “You put your opponent through a table. Cody dropkicked Big Show and then he went through the table!” Lawler: “That’s not what happened!” You stupid fucking moron, that’s exactly what happened.
– Cody via countout? That’s fine, I’m ready for this feud to end.
– Mmm, sexy Eve is sexy.
– I’m often curious to know if Kofi Kingston will ever be a true main eventer.
– Wait, could this be the beginning of a…tag team feud?
– I’ve seen Kofi vs Dolph about 100 times, and it’s always been great.
– Damn, the SOS just looked fantastic. No one sells like Dolph.
– Woo a ziggler win! Haven’t seen one of those in forever.
– The irony of Cena being via satellite is not lost on me.
– Phew, good thing the broadcast is experiencing technical difficulties. I didn’t want to hear a lot of this anyways.
– Just noticed Cena’s eyes are a nice steel blue and grey.
– I’ll never understand how Maxine is on television by Kaitlyn isn’t.
– Every time I hear Layla’s music, I’ll always think of McCool. Never forget, baby 😦
– Dude, Layla has been awesome these last two weeks. She’s quick, fluid, and just good.
– They gotta stop with the cars for Del Rio.
– So Sheamus/Orton vs Del Rio/Jericho. I suppose this leads to Jericho vs Orton?
– Good continuity: Daniel Bryan hurts Sheamus’ shoulder last week. Del Rio uses an arm bar that can also hurt shoulder.
– Wouldn’t mind an Orton/Del Rio feud, even though the promos would be obnoxiously boring.
– Nice series of finishers with Jericho pinning Sheamus. I smell a 4 way at Over the Limit.
– 4 way confirmed. Damn I’m good.
– New lighting for the Funkasauras!
– Aw Miz…poor Miz. Turn this man face!
– Oh my God, Miz isn’t getting buried! WAT?!
– Well, can’t say I didn’t see that coming. At least Miz, like Ziggler, didn’t get squashed.
– PS: Naomi is all azz.
– Oh good, another Brock Lesnar recap, now I can watch some NBA!
– So CM Punk tweets a picture of PAUL HEYMAN. I assume it’s all a ruse. Low and behold, I’m wrong, dammit.
– You know what sucks about Heyman being back on TV? A lot of these people don’t know who he is. It’s a shame how quickly they’re forgotten.
– Thank God he’s back though, even if it is just until Brock leaves.
– Brock quits, apparently. If Heyman sticks around with Brock through Mania, he gets a Hall of Fame nod. Bank on it.
– WHOA, WAIT, HOLD ON! CM Punk, the WWE Champion, is going to be in the main event?!
– I’m glad this handicap match was spoiled by Cole a half hour ago.
– Not a fan of Tensai nor his little swimmies.
– YES! YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!
– Tensai pins Punk.
– Thank God Bryan does a little post match beatdown on Punk, or else this Raw would’ve been a total waste.